okay so i was online searching for ways to make myself study and i found all sorts of b.s that i expected. stuff like "its you who decides ,not your mind" "tell your self that you are not sleepy and you wont be anymore" and "take a time out and imagine your future something successful and then you will feel like working towards it". okay i know that they all are actually some what right..okay maybe they are bang on. but that's not what an 18 year old wants to hear when she's searching for ways to keep her self from sleeping and do her studying for the day! what i wanted was some real stuff you know..like actual tips to follow, a strategy, a plan! and seriously with the guy downstairs jamming on his guitar, studying just seems even more boring than EVER!! but i have to and that's that!! i told myself-" you have just 14 days left until your exams and if you don't get through them you will be sitting with your juniors and that is just plain embarrassing!! and it will also prove all your teachers right who are hating on you because you have a fashion sense better than theirs could ever be!! so stfu and study!! yes i know it is boring as hell but hey!! at least its not like high school! at least after this you can just get a job that will actually be related to what you have been studying! and you know the job is going to pay great!! that is the only reason you agreed to do this course! so just shut up and get through this and you can take a break! just do it cause you know you want the money!" and i am one of those who can study just a little bit and get great scores! but this time its a difficult course and i will have to put in more hard work. i know it but the only thing that keeps interfering is lack of the great thing called "MOOD". well i guess i just have to suck up to it and get to studying. here's what : im gonna learn a chapter tonight, no matter what! and im gonna do it for myself because well, those pretty handbags don't come for free!!! so the time when you feel real fucked up and haven't been attending classes for days and haven't been studying at all; i promise you this- start once and then it will all be easy! its just the effort to start that is the most difficult one. but force yourself or get a friend along. pull em down and dive head first and don't you fuckin move away from it for at least an hour and then its all gonna be easy baby!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
the other day i was at lunch with my friends and a couple of acquaintances. i was complaining about how my travel plans had to be repeatedly changed because of my dad's commitment issues-he was committed to his work and not his family. all of a sudden one of my girlfriends,a miss so-and-so present there said "you crib a lot. everyone has issues in their life just deal with it". that shocked me beyond belief. trust me i had not seen this coming. i asked her if i had previously ever "cribbed" but i had not..its just i was tired of my dad continuously ditching me and i wanted someone to sympathize and i thought maybe friends were the people to go to! but instead this was what i got? and then another girl joined in saying "me and so-and-so were just discussing this yesterday about how you crib about everything so much! you just have to let it go!!" and then miss, so-and-so joins in saying "yeah man..everybody has issues..just suck up to it..we all have problems but we don't keep saying 'oh my life sucks and i hate my life',,just move on!" i asked them to please go ahead and state what their issues in life were because i would gladly listen to those..but instead all they said was " we cant say them here now".because fact of the matter was they never had any issues. sure they had normal problems like hating classes and living with curfew times but they also had the side of life where they were dating and going out shopping every week and going to the movies and disco's with their parents permission!!. the only issue in their life- they had fights with their respective boyfriends and oh my god isn't that the worst thing! that's sarcasm btw! aggh!! how can someone be so shallow and selfish and ditch your friend ? or maybe they were just trying to impress the new guy at the table by showing him how they NEVER complain about life!? well i walked away from the conversation only to get a "im so sorry i should have just listened to you i know how sometimes we just need someone to listen to our problems and not say anything" text from miss so-and-so. sure i went back to them after that. but i'm never going to talk about my "issues" with them anymore and they're never going to be my friends. from then on they have only been "company" that i keep to get through college hours and avoid social awkwardness. oh and i just listen to them when day in and day out they crib about their boyfriends,crying during class hours, breaking up-and back withing a span of 60 minutes and more crap stuff related to their love life but i don't say anything. i just listen and give my opinions and suggestions when asked for. because i want to show them what friends are supposed to be like. and no..this doesn't make me some amazing person..now im just more aware of what people can really be like and how i am supposed to be with them!!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
When i woke up today morning i realized i was late for college, and that led me to take a smart decision to just stay home and study because i have my exams coming up in a couple of days. well stay home, i did. but studied? no i didn't ! so now its 3 in the afternoon, im munching on chips and writing this while a tiny meek voice keeps screaming inside my head "YOU NEED TO STUDY". Well since its out of the audible range im gonna ignore it , only to feel guilty later on while writing my exams. so why do we do it? why do we continue doing something, indulging in something which we know we are going to regret later? well...i am going to go ponder over that, watch a few episodes of supernatural and then brb!!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
you see this guy at the supermarket..itz so perfect...such a cliche...ur trying to get urself a carton of milk..and well hez gettin a cereal box...itz almost like ur together..he looks at you..you smile...and maybe laugh a little inside ur head...itz like hez dyin to talk to u...well atleast u kno u are..but then hiz cell phone rings and he turns away and happily chats to god knows who..and thats it..the end of ur 120 seconds affair.....u leave with a sense of well-being...and therz probably a 1 in 50 chances tht ul meet him again..ever...and well it does boost ur self confidence..obviously u cant live forever like this..u need someone to help u grow..as a person....but these tiny little flirtations...they help soo much,they keep u happy...